Schlitzing

Strike/Lockout Avoided

2005-01-26T13:30:00.000-06:00

Being an avid fan of US Mens National Soccer, and therefore one who is planning on visiting Germany for the World Cup 2006, this makes me happy. Finally USSoccer and the Mens National Team players have come to their senses. This means that true USMNT players will be called upon for the final round of qualifying matches, beginning February 9th against Trinidad and Tobago. This means that scab players won't be carrying my hopes of a fantastic and victorious trip to Germany on their shoulders.

With that out of the way, here's the roster for T&T. Now all I gotta do is figure out how to go about getting the World Cup Tickets from the psychopathic, paranoid fraudsters running World Cup ticketing:

According to fifaworldcup.com, tickets are non-transferrable, non-returnable, and cannot be cancelled.

There are five ticket lotteries - all applications for each lottery, regardless of when submitted, have an equal chance at ticket selection. Lottery dates are:

A. 1 Feb to 31 March 2005
B. 1 May 2005 to 15 November 2005
C. 1 December 2005 to 15 January 2006
D. 1 February 2006 to 15 April 2006
E. 1 May 2006 to 9 July 2006

By entering the lottery, you agree to buy the tickets you requested for the people you requested if you are a lottery winner. Then, if you or they can't use them - fuck off.

This hateful policy comes under the guise of "security precautions". I'm gonna go ahead and call some bullshit on that one. I can see that they may want to avoid any hoodlums coming in, fine. I'm sure they'll play the terrorism card as well. But neither of these issues has anything to do with my ability to decide I want to take my cousin instead of my fiancee when the time comes, or that I'd like to give my tickets to someone once I realize I can't afford the trip at that time. Just have me return my tickets or re-register the name on the ticket. How hard can that be?

Of All Things Dork

2005-01-14T15:05:00.000-06:00

With the final Star Wars movie "Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" opening on May 19th, I think the intergalactic and fantasy crowd is really gonna get charged up this year. So here's what the most creative geek minds can think up:

Darth Tater and Tron II.

Let Them Play! Let Them Play!

2005-01-13T13:18:00.000-06:00

This might be something worth fighting for. Finally anyone can have a Bad News Bears jersey. As Tanner Boyle said "What do you expect? All we got on this team are a bunch of jews, spicks, niggers, pansies, and a booger eating moron."

This is something worth fighting the whole seventh grade for.

Out of self-defense, she used her foot to keep Jasara away from her

2005-01-12T15:50:00.000-06:00

Some demographic detail is required by the PD, but it's soo worth it.

Jeff Garcia seems to really be in love this time. Not like that last time when he "became upset with her after learning Hine had lied to her friends that DeCesare had a sexually transmitted disease. Hine also talked freely about her fling with Garcia, he said, which eventually got back to DeCesare and caused a brief rift in their relationship. "

I guess it's true love this time. Although I suppose it could be a case of Jeff try to escape the "smells like a rat" homo comments from Terrell Owens. And what better way to do that then:

1. Party til dawn, providing tours of your home "ending up in the bedroom" - yeah, baby.
2. Drop that 32 year old for the Playmate, aged 22
3. Take the Playmate to the... TRAMP Club?

Nice, Jeff. I guess it your macho side is coming out these days. Oh, yeah - nearly forgot the the Tramp club is run by some girl named Giglio.

Hopefully this trial will drag on and on, so we can be satisfied by at least one thing the Browns do during the offseason.

Can't Help

2005-01-12T15:38:00.000-06:00

Before and after sets of tsunami damage pictures.

The beginning pictures showing the receding coastline are most impactful. It's a frighteningly cartoonish windup - like a character twisting himself up tight before raining blows down on another.

They reminded me of this article from CNN.com about a village that was saved because generations had taught one another that if the sea recedes - the same quantity will come back in force. I can only imagine those people who went down to marvel at the receding sea. The pictures make you want to yell out to the inhabitants to flee.

Sterling!

2005-01-11T09:07:00.000-06:00

This is quite possibly the best example of web zen I've ever seen.

Apparently, a guy was trying to research the Olivia Newton John musical "Toomorrow" - an uncommon misspelling that showed up in this Call Girl business' log. Nice.

Time Honored

2005-01-11T09:04:00.000-06:00

Jack Bauer robbing the gas station is a thing of beauty. That guy's got some skills.

Kiefer was chasing the terrorist that had Chloe's friend. The terrorist dropped him off with two other terrorists to kill him - but Jack killed them first.

All the while Chloe was stealing CTU satellite bandwidth to track the terrorist for Jack. It took time, though, so in order to delay the terrorist before they got on a two lane road where Jack knew the terrorist would spot him tailing - he robbed the gas station that the terrorst stopped in. Classic Jack Bauer.

Jack, as the robber, then took the terrorist hostage (a delightful irony) in order to escape the cops before dropping him off by the side of the freeway. By then, Chloe had the satellite up and was tracking the terrorist. But she got busted for helping Jack behind new CTU director Erin's back.

Jack Bauer is rogue agent again! Won't they ever learn to just listen to him?

Ahhhhh Marty-Ball

2005-01-07T21:49:00.000-06:00

As an ex-Clevelander, stuck here in Chicago where I can only empathize with those sports fans around me, this makes my heart warm.

At no time in my life was sports more influential than when Marty was running the show in Cleveland. Then that fat fuck Art Model (JUMP ART!) ran him out of town. At the time I was too young to realize just what a good thing Marty was for the Browns and sided with the fat fuck. Youth is wasted on the young.

As the article above describes - Marty went on to KC and started his own elite "coaching tree" that you hear about all the freaking time with Parcells, Bilicheck, et all. Well, you know what? I still believe Marty's the best coach of them all.

Marty Ball - Catch It!

The Ball

2005-01-07T15:48:00.000-06:00

"I'm thinking 'There's four years at Florida State for one of my kids'."

I'll have you know that Florida State is ranked number 111 out of 129 national universities by US News and World Report.

That'd be two full positions (due to ties) lower than our own Ohio University at 98, and has Princeton Review rankings as follows - I guess it's the Jock School appeal for the Mienky family:

Rank, List, Category
#10
Teaching Assistants Teach Too Many Upper-Level Courses
Academics

#3
Their Students (Almost) Never Study
Academics

#6
Lots Of Beer
Parties

#6
Party Schools
Parties

#19
Dorms Like Dungeons
Quality of Life

#3
Jock Schools
School Type

2424242424242424242424242424

2005-01-07T14:57:00.000-06:00

Foolishness has run amok this week with the new season of the show about "rich California fucks whose biggest problem is which plastic hot chick they are going to fuck tonight." An apt description of The OC by a renouned poor California virgin whose biggest problem is getting a job so he can get rich and have plastic asian barbies to select from for evening fucking purposes.

Nevertheless - the criticism of popular television is warranted, but premature. Because two hours of my time will be spent Sunday and Monday night watching the premier episodes of the new season of 24. Ahhhhhh television bliss.

The good: no more of Jack Bauer's daughter Kim and her Meet the Parents-like fuckupishness that is neither funny nor intriguing.

The bad: no more of Jack Bauer's daughter Kim and her skimpy white tank tops. Although I learned to live without them during season 3. Ohhh how I long for the days of season two.

"Can I give you a hand with that cougar trap, Kim?

Maybe his cell phone battery died?

2005-01-07T09:50:00.000-06:00

It would appear Scott Boras may be losing his touch. The AP reports that he who manages to steer all his clients into the largest of pocketbooks available, apparently can't get anyone to trump the Indians' bid for Kevin Millwood.

After negotiations were held up for weeks because of "medical tests the Indians required of Millwood, personal matters and Boras being tied up with other high-profile free agent clients," Millwood is looking like signing with the Tribe for a year and $7 mil. Shaaaww!!!! (decrepid Wayne and Garth reference). I think the reality of it is that Boras, offer in hand, spent the last two weeks making a call to each of the other 29 teams in baseball. At least the Indians were public enough about what they're offer was that he couldn't try to represent it as double what it really was, ala ARod.

Millwood to the Tribe, eh? I guess if he can stay healthy he's just a small step down from Lieber and Clement. None of them are really any cause for excitement, although with pitchers spending their early 30's pulling out miraculous contract years - maybe we'll see something nice out of Millwood before he leaves after a year sticking way out of Larry Dolan's wallet.

A side note - another Juan Gone sighting in that article as Mark Shapiro appears to be adding 20 home runs and 65 games to the lineup.

Things I find assinine: Entry #1

2005-01-06T13:57:00.000-06:00

Labor disputes rearing their ugly head in... National Team Soccer???

The US National Soccer Team goes into the third and final round of World Cup Qualifying on February 9th. However, the collective bargaining agreement between the players and the US Soccer Federation (USSF) expires on February 1st. So what we've got here is a Mexican Standoff that could jeopardize the US Nationals 2006 WC qualification.

The USSF refuses to lift or delay the February 1st deadline and is threatening to use "untested" (read: unqualified, bad, dumpy, prepubescent) players in the qualification game. Now, I know it's Trinidad and Tobago, but the US has a real chance at (gasp) winning the World Cup next year and putting qualification in the hands of a pack of MLS rejects and Blast, Sidekicks, and Force players is a little extreme.

Don't get me wrong. I love me some Hector Marinaro, and that Force logo is the best in sports; bar none. But isn't there a donkey we can put out there younger with a better foot, er hoof?

3-5 as always

2005-01-03T21:08:00.000-06:00

Nothing changes on the keeper front.

Draft

2005-01-03T16:20:00.000-06:00

No "protecting" players this year. Newbies pick 3 or 4 after our keepers are settled.

Whaley

2005-01-03T16:08:00.000-06:00

What about Rob? APTIA. And what are we going to do w/ keepers and adding 2 more people? It sorta didnt go all that well in football

So who's the Boxcar?

2005-01-03T16:00:00.000-06:00

12121212121212121212? Who's 12.

Open For Business

2004-10-19T15:50:00.000-05:00

Lotion - Skin - Put